Miss All Sunday

Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate

Scrum, I'm a lazy developer!

scrum rant lazy dev

I came across scrum a few months ago, first impression?  just another form of micro-managing.

A good analogy would be scrum is like communism, great on theory, awful in practice.

If I were to work as a full time developer I will decline any job offer where scrum is involved, I mean, any "agile software development" method that glorifies product owners and scrum masters but degrade developers cannot be something good for any developer.

I often see the term "lazy developer" as a label imposed to those developers who doesn't like scrum. I am a lazy developer ,whoever, for completely different reasons:

I'm lazy because I want to spend as little time as possible doing something and I want to avoid doing the same process over and over again.  Instead of writting the same function for two different projects, I much prefer write a generic one and use that on as many projects as needed.

Meetings everyday?  why?  seems pointless to me, not to mention it makes me feel like I'm some kind of child who needs to be constantly supervised to do what I'm suppose to do.  Its my work.... I'm a fully responsible person, I know what I need to do, how and when...  thats why I was hired in the first place!  because I know my stuff. A meeting everyday to remind me what I already know seems pointless and a pretty stupid way to waste time...  a meeting everyday to justify my existence or to just talk about awesome things instead of doing said awesome things is also a pretty stupid idea.

On the other side, if you are a developer who "just code", that is, a person who isn't passionate about coding or just go to work, do what its told, isn't interested on developing new skills, etc etc then you surely are gonna love scrum. Working under scrum means you will be told what to do (sometimes even how) which means you aren't going to do any critical thinking at all! you will just go to work, code what they tell you, when they tell you and how they tell you and then come back home.

I guess thats a valid way of life, I know plenty of people who just "do the bare minimum" at work, never takes extra hours, never aspire for a better position, never questions the system, they just go and do work from 9 to 5, no more no less.

I suppose scrum is targeted, or worst, is designed to transform people into this soul-less quasi mechanic workers without a trait of creativity left on their empty carcass. I certainly don't want to be involved in that kind of stuff.

I understand you get to work on something to earn money, you aren't there to blossom your creativity and thats fine, I almost always took that approach at work, I'm there to work, upper management wants to do something? is doable? if so, yeah I will do that, thats my work and I will make sure to deliver what was requested. You know, drink the kool aid and all that stuff. Is it stupid or not feasible? of course I will tell them just that, well, maybe changing some adjectives and add pretty flowers to the sentence but I will make sure they know their expectations are pretty high.

On the other hand, it seems scrum inhibits innovation, most scrum teams are too busy  and too obsessed with finish their tasks/stories and that leads to having little or no time for innovation. Who has time to innovate or be creative when you are forced to work under constant two weeks "sprints".

And its a very sad thing because software development really depends on innovation and its by far the most innovative industry currently out there.

I kinda feel pity for any developer currently working under scrum,  if work wasn't boring already, some bright mind found a way to make it even more boring...

Now, to be completely fair, I don't think scrum itself is bad, its just another working methodology, whats really bad is that it can be very, very quickly converted to just another tool for micro-managing and thats the real issue.  Unfortunately, 12 out of 10 scrum experiences I saw has taken that path.

Is it just me or the whole scrum thing doesn't really take into consideration any social aspects of working in an office? how about having an obnoxious boss?  or forcing some poor shy soul to have meetings every single day (I know a coworker who will just die if she was forced to have meetings and be open to everyone else everyday). how about bad blood? friendships?

On a side note, I just love how so called "scrum gurus" uses fancy words to vaguely explain what scrum is or means, you know, the kind of words you will often seen on linkedin updates 😜  and of course gotta love the scrum master thing: you are in charge but you really aren't in charge but you need to be in charge and pretend not to be in charge while been in charge unless not been in charge by been in charge.

Last edited by Suki reason: add compressed image on 3 Apr 2017, 10:00 am

I can certainly understand your apprehension to jump on the agile bandwagon. Indeed there are some "bad parts" of the methodology. The urge to be a purist when practicing agile (or any structured methodology) can be great. I've personally worked in pure agile environments, as well as offices that claimed they were agile, but borrowed nothing from the defined process. And, of course, I've worked jobs that had no defined process. All three situations were problematic. What I've attempted to do at my current office is encourage teams to borrow from the methodology where it makes sense. A lot of good has come out of being "agile". Don't get too hung up on specific actions, look more at how agile makes you think. For me, being agile isn't about mindlessly holding standup meetings and going through the motions just to say "we're agile". Instead, it provides many opportunities over the course of a development cycle to be introspective as a developer, to share knowledge among team members, and to better estimate deadlines. These are only a few benefits, but there are more.

Anyway, I used to have a similar aversion to agile. Initially I was dragged into the process kicking and screaming, but, over time, I saw great value in it.

I found this gem while browsing:



But yeah, any work methodology has its ups and downs. Thing is, SCRUM gets a lot of hype and people are too eager to jump on it, most of the times without even knowing if you or your team really needs it.
Last edited by Suki reason: added the gem back on 9 Mar 2017, 11:30 am